36. Make some revisions on a paper.

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Make some revisions on a paper. You should make this paper a bit longer, like one more page. Here are the comments:

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Sample Organization

The introduction:

Open with an interesting quotation, or with a general statement about the concept, or with a surprising fact or with a question.

Briefly describe your concept and then define it in your own way.

Provide background information of the concept. You may use your personal experience.

Write a thesis statement

The body paragraphs:

In each body paragraph, you may use definition, classification, comparison and contrast, narrative process, and cause and effect. In order to help readers understand the information, use specific terms for categories, concrete examples, simile, and/or metaphor. Use also personal experience.

The conclusion:

Reiterate the thesis in different words.

Frame the essay by relating the end to the beginning.

End with a memorable quote.

Follow it thoroughly!

Emma1
Emma Wang
Professor Kostadinovska
ENG 107
21 February 2018
The Social Network Sites
Nowadays, the technology develops faster, many types of social network sites are invented
like What’s up, WeChat, QQ, Weibo and Line. People often use more than one sites to
communicate. The companies also earn much money from those sites. In our generation, you
cannot know how to write a letter, you can do not have a phone number but you must have less
one site on your iPad, computer or smart phone. On my phone, I have 5 social network sites.
However, I like the WeChat best because of my identity in this one and it effects my and my
family’s life a lot.
Firstly, in this function, I am a business owner when I use WeChat and it help me get better
life. For example, I use WeChat to sell my products and make money. On this site, my identity is a
business owner because I have an online store. You can pay for money to my WeChat wallet, I can
ship to you my products. You do not need write any information because the WeChat records your
address, bankcard number and the phone number. Moreover, because of I am success business
owner, it helps me make many moneys. My sister, she is studying in a China university. She wants
to make money to improve her life quality. She just followed me to become a business too.
Finally, she also gets her goals. In this way, it improved our quality of life. Consequently, I am a
success business owner in the WeChat and it also give myself better life.
Secondly, in WeChat I have many friends, some friends live in China and some of them live
Emma2
in here, in this group my identity is a best friend for them and it I have not become estranged from
my friends because of the WeChat. For instance, in the WeChat I have some groups, in each group
I have many friends, for them I just make conversation with them. When they have free time, I
will make face time with them. We have never talked about the products, we just talk about the
clothes, the super star or the food. When they meet trouble, I will try to help them. When I feel sad
or happy, I also want to share to them. However, if you do not have WeChat, you cannot do those
things. Using phone to do that will coast lots of money. My brother is a middle school student, his
parents did not allow him to use cellphone. He just uses his computer to login on the WeChat and
communicate with his friends. As a result, the WeChat help you become a good friend in your
friendship even though you do not have a smart phone, you can also use WeChat.
Thirdly, my last identity is old sister in the WeChat. When somebody who is not your friend,
they may just find someone you unknow. Sometimes those people will tell you some secrets
because they think you cannot tell those secret to other people who knows her or him. At that time,
I am a friendly and have patience person. I will become a good listener and comfort them. It
affects me become a good person. One person always found me and talked to me at the midnight. I
always answer her and solve problems for her. As a consequent, the WeChat can let you become
any person that you want and it will help you change any identities that you want to be, it also
helps you can find a good listener for yourself.
Then, I am a talkative woman while I am using WeChat and it helps me make many new
friends. For example, I am the most active one in any WeChat group. Any questions I can answer
it even though sometimes I do not know the right answer. I will say something to them. I have a
friend in China and she is a shy girl. She cannot talk when there have lots of people. However,
Emma3
when she uses WeChat, she can take a jock, she can talk a lot. When they have a meet-and-greet,
she can speak little by little. WeChat helps me become livelier also helps my friend become more
optimistic. As a result, WeChat can change a person’s character and can help you overcome lots
problem.
Making a phone call to a country to another country is very expensive, everybody knows
that. My mom is in China, she is 65 years old. She does not know how to use smart phone.
Because of the expensive fee, we only can make once call in a week. However, when I teach my
mother how to use WeChat, I can talk with my mother every day and it only coast a little. WeChat
helps me remittance my homesick helps my mother find more joy of life. My father use WeChat
check the weather report, the news and the life knowledge. The WeChat makes My parents
become modern people.
Sometimes our emotions will become very low, we do not want to talk, go outside to eat.
WeChat will help you all food what you want to eat. For example, when you are sick, or other
reasons, you do not want to make food or go to the outside to buy. You just use the WeChat find
some things you want. After few time, the food will deliver to your home. The WeChat will make
you become a lazy person but a feel good. I also order some food to my parents, although I study
in U.S. WeChat can help you become a filial person and give you a relax life.
WeChat can allow you to have many Identity and give you life many positive and negative
effects. If you can control yourself, the WeChat will bring you many advantages. Using WeChat
can give your life add a lot of color. Is it troublesome to go to Internet cafe to bring id card? Don’t
worry, a cell phone is all done. Going to the hotel verify id card time long? Don’t worry, a cell
phone is all done. Even after the police law enforcement look at the id card, you can be generous
Emma4
to take out your mobile phone to see! My mother never worries about the replacement cycle length
or demagnetization problem. However, there are also some concerns: what if my phone is lost or
other friends are holding my cell phone and stealing some of the legal stuff? Don’t be afraid. You
are in China, and the state is not going to give these bad people the law. The “id card” is the
product of national key project research and development, through the “Internet + credible id
authentication platform” issued, can achieve real id chip only with the matching electronic
mapping file. WeChat id card is strictly standardized and open, just like physical identity card.
Finally,When it comes to how WeChat affects this age, it’s a big question, and I believe
that different people have different answers. From big level, WeChat influence on enterprises,
Pony (ma) in our WeChat strength also mentioned that the past production mode is the
manufacturer you produce a product, a brand, and then through a layer of one layer of dealers to
sell to consumers, however, from products to the distributor, enterprise you got out of hand, you
cannot know, consumers like your products, don’t like the place in where? You know nothing, that
is, you don’t have a clear user portrait, real time control of the sales data, and this is you can’t
grasp as the manufacturer, but now, WeChat a solution to this problem.
To sum up, the WeChat has become the most popular site in China because it can help you
become anyone that you want. The WeChat also give us many advantages and affect our life a lot.
When you have somethings, you cannot tell you family and friend, you can look for a person that
you unknow, this person will help keep those things. When you begin your business but you do
not have enough money, WeChat will help you, having a online shop on WeChat is free. When you
miss your friend and your family, you can use WeChat to contact with ant any time any place.

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