Final Draft

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Step 1 Read the Essay Project 2 Assignment Sheet


https://gcccd.instructure.com/courses/19968/files/…


Step 2


Complete Writing Task 11

Please complete the revision checklist for your essay.


Step 3 Complete the final draft of your essay

Follow the guidelines in the assignment letter for the essay. Use all the feedback you were given from your classmates and instructor to polish your draft. Use all of the information you have learned so far in the course about writing to improve your final product.

This should be a complete draft, not the just the initial draft used for the peer review.


Step 4 Save and submit your final draft assignment along with the original rough draft.



Be sure to also include your rough draft, so your instructor can see the changes you made.



When you have completed your assignment save a copy for yourself in an easily accessible place and submit a copy to your instructor using the dropbox.

My Rough Draft :

Staying true to all America’s children’s promise

While it is widely accepted that all children need to get a world-class education, disabled children are left behind and are disadvantaged in many educational aspects. This is a speech that was delivered by Secretary Arne Duncan. The audience was the Council for Exceptional Children and the speech was delivered on the 21st day of April, in the year 2010. Arne Duncan seeks to sell the idea of embracing children with disability in education, providing them with appropriate opportunities so as to ensure that every child gets a world-class education. This is an effective argument that Arne uses and it arguably must have achieved its objectives. For an argument to hold, it needs to have elements that work.

THE USE OF ASSUMPTIONS

The author has made use of assumptions. Very often arguments are basically made of assumptions in either stated or unstated forms. The speaker makes an assumption that he and the president, Obama had the same belief that all children needed world-class education. While this may be true, the speaker may not be able to ascertain what Obama or any other person believed. Beliefs cannot be proven and spoken of with authority, especially if they are beliefs related to another person. The speaker, therefore, makes an assumption that Obama held the same belief that he had and he doesn’t seem to make any effort to ascertain the authenticity of the belief. This is an effective way of arguments since it enables the audience to be swayed in their perception of the issue at hand. Arguably, arguments seek to change peoples’ opinions as it is impossible to have people agree on a particular behavior.

THE USE OF PATHOS

The speaker has made use of pathos in presenting his thoughts and argument. The speech is rich in emotional appeal as a strategy that the speaker uses to have the attention and sympathy of the audience. People are easily convinced and their opinions changed when there are attempts to appeal to their emotions. The speech makes it clear that there is nothing more devilish and malicious when it comes to “education than the conviction that disabilities and demography are destiny–that the burdens of poverty, disability, and race mean the children cannot really succeed and should be treated with low expectations” (Duncan). This is a statement that resonates well with the emotions of people and the audience was bound to turn sympathetic to the disabled children. When this happens, it is not hard to have people’s opinions changed in any matter and therefore the speaker is successful in the application of this strangely.

THE USE OF LOGOS

There is widespread usage of the strategy of logos throughout the speech. The speaker makes use of this by trying to appeal to the people’s reasoning as a way to reach out to them and have them persuaded. This was apparently meant to have them change their opinions on the issue at hand. The speaker is successful in this strategy as he appeals to the reasoning of his audience and tries to arouse their reason by use of thought-provoking arguments. He indirectly calls them to action by appealing to their logic and making it appear unpopular to let the disabled children stay behind in education. Arne tactfully makes use of the past since people easily relate with the past than with the future. He points out to the past where the disabled children were ignored by public schools. This was a sure way to ensure that the denied the disabled children entry in public schools and those who were lucky to secure entry could not get individualized instruction. He puts their reasoning to task by giving the statistics and making it clear that the numbers were not small.

THE USE OF BIAS

The speaker has made use of bias. The speech is skewed towards the disabled children and the argument may not hold if the bias is taken away. The speaker presents disabled children as vulnerable and deprived. This may not necessarily be true. The speaker is effective in this application of bias and there is no doubt that the results were promising. It is worth noting that overemphasis on an underprivileged or deprived group ends up depriving the group that was not deprived initially.

THE USE OF STRENGTH OF EVIDENCE

The speaker has made use of the strength of the argument. By use of statistics, the speaker was trying to put more weight in his points so that they become more believable.

CONCLUSION

The speech by Arne was a successful attempt. It comes as an argument that has several strategies that are effectively used. It is indisputable that the speech achieved its goals.

Works Cited

Duncan, Arne. “Keeping the Promise to All America’s Children.” Council for Exceptional Children, 21 Apr. 2010, U.S. Department of Education. United States of America. Speech.

























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Essay Project 2: Final Dr x
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Search
://gcocd.instructure.com/courses/19969/assignments/267592
15.0 pts
11.0 pts
8.0 pts
4.0 pts
The extent to which
relevant materials,
sources, data and
evidence are
considered
appropriately in the
essay.
0.0 pts
No
Marks
Superior (15
12 points)
The approach
used is well
chosen and
highly
appropriate
to the thesis.
Good (11-9
points) The
approach
used is
generally
appropriate
to the thesis,
Needs
Improvement
(8 – 5 points)
The approach
used is
generally
inappropriate
to the thesis.
Does Not Meet
Standards (4
O points) The
approach used
is completely
inappropriate
to the thesis.
11.0 pts
4.0 pts
15.0 pts
8.0 pts
15.0 pts
12.0 pts
90 pts
Superior 115-13
6.0 pts
Needs
points A
aprovement 13-
Do&No:
Mest
The extent to which
the essay develops an
argument relevant to
the thesis from the
materials
information
considered the stond
of the analysis
included SUPRA
support
the rescarga
around
B points)
limited or
CONVO in
ingine
Te
gument which
addresses the
thesis is well
developed, well
organized and
clearly expressed
Where an
evaluation is
appropriate, it is
fully
substantiated.
Eod 12:10
pointS AR
BILDER
addresses the
thesis is
competently
developedi
Where an
evaluation is
appropriate
some attempt
has been made
to substantiate
it. 12.0 pts
superficial
attempt to
arfumer
developed which
addresses the
thesis but which is
incornplete. Where
an evaluation is
appropriate, it is
likely to be
subjective, with
little attempt at
substantiation. 9.0
formulate an
15.0 pts
argument
relevant to
the thesis,
or
there is no
argument
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Essay Project 2: Final Dr X
s://gcccd.instructure.com/courses/19969/assignments/267592
15.0 pts
5.0 pts
The extent to which
the essay incorporates
organization that is
consistent with its
argument/thesis.
20.0 pts
Superior (20 –
16 points)
Strong
organization
that is clearly
relevant to the
thesis and is
consistent with
the argument or
explanation
presented in the
essay. 20.0 pts
Good (15 – 11
points)
Organization
that is clearly
relevant to the
thesis and is
consistent with
the argument or
explanation
presented in the
essay. 15.0 pts
10.0 pts
Needs
Improvement
(10 -6 points)
Some
organization is
attempted
which is
consistent with
the argument
presented in the
essay. 10.0 pts
Does Not Meet
Standards (5 – 0
points) Little or no
attempt has been
made to provide
an organizational
pattern that is
consistent with
the argument
presented in the
essay. 5.0 pts
20.0 pts
MLA Style
0.0 pts
4.0 pts
Some
isolated
5.0 pts
No revision
needed (5 points)
MLA style is used
properly
throughout the
document 5.0 pts
revision
needed (4 – 3
points)
Typical MLA
3.0 pts
Moderate revision
needed in some
areas (2 – 1 points)
MLA style is used
but inconsistently
Substantial
revision needed
(0 points) No
evidence of
MLA style
awareness 0.0
pts
5.0 pts
3.0 pts
errors are
present 4.0
pts
Grammar
5.0 pts
3.0 pts
20 pts
0.0 pts
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Essay Project 2: Final Dr X
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https://goccd.instructure.com/courses/19969/assignments/267592
Grammar
5.0 pts
3.0 pts
0.0 pts
No revision
needed (5 points)
No grammatical
errors are present
and document is
in good shape
grammatically 5.0
pts
Some isolated
revision
needed (3
points) Only a
few
grammatical
errors appear
2.0 pts
Moderate
revision needed
in some areas (2
– 1 points)
Several
grammatical
errors appear
throughout the
document 2.0
Substantial
revision needed
(O points) Major
grammatical
errors are
5.0 pts
3.0 pts
present
throughout the
entire document
0.0 pts
pts
Clarity and Sentence
Structure
10.0 pts
6.0 pts
2.0 pts
No revision
needed (10-9
points) Text is
organized well and
easy to follow.
There is a logical
order of
information and
transitions are
present. Sentences
are varied, clear,
and concise. 10.0
8.0 pts
Some isolated
revision needed
(8 – 7 points)
The narrative
overall is clear
but there is at
least one
element or
section in need
of revision.
Some sentences
need revision.
Moderate
revision needed
in some areas (6
– 3 points)
Logical order of
ideas is present
but text is
lacking overall
coherence.
Sentence
structure need
revision. 6.0 pts
Substantial
revision needed
(2 points) Text
is difficult to
follow.
Sentences need
major revision
throughout. 2.0
pts
10.0 pts
pts
8.0 pts
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